Blogmas Day 5: Bye then... Ending support work relationships

I have a very difficult relationship with exercise. I know it’s good for me, I know I feel better when I do it but ultimately I’d rather be on the sofa eating crisps. However, much to my delight a spinning instructor started at my gym who solved all of my exercise apathy. She was fun and sassy and her combination of loud 90’s garage tunes(so noone can hear me swearing) and turning off the lights (so no one can see my blotchy red face) had me almost skipping to the gym to attend her classes. Then one day as I climbed off my bike and tried to regain the use of my legs she very casually said: “This is my last class guys”.

I was gutted. Not life shatteringly so; she wasn’t my best friend and spinning class is a very small part of my life; but nevertheless I felt a bit strange that someone who had been a consistent influence in my life for the last few months and had helped me to find motivation that I hadn’t previously had was leaving my life without ceremony (also her replacement has not played Sweet Female Attitude, Flowers once but has played Miley Cyrus, Wrecking Ball at least five times, UK garage fans will feel my pain).

This made me think about how, as support workers, we could better handle leaving the lives of the people we support. It’s inevitable that people will leave to start new jobs, to start families or change careers. Sometimes a change of worker is just a healthy thing to do for both worker and service user. When you’re working with people with complex needs you are privy to some of the biggest crises, hardest moments and greatest successes of people’s lives. And whilst you’re busy maintaining your professional boundaries, liaising with other professionals, making phone calls, sending emails, motivational interviewing, applying the principles of housing first and trauma informed care, being a councillor, mentor, benefits adviser, housing officer and a million other things it’s easy to forget that on top of all that you might be the only consistent influence in someone’s life. Even if the outcome won’t change, our service users, deserve the chance to tell you how they feel about it, say goodbye, and be reassured that though the relationship is ending the motivation and confidence it has given them doesn’t have to.